create a picture in the reader's mind
What It'll Look Like:
~ adjectives that enhance the description
~ strong verbs
~ compound and complex sentences
~ conjunctions
Here are a few descriptions of mythological creatures:
The minotaur
This unrealistic minotaur uses its sour lemon yellow eyes to look through the labyrinth walls to see its prey. In combat he uses his strong bony tail to strangle he prey. He can also use his extremely sharp claw-like fingernails to slash and rip open his victim. A strategy this minotaur likes to use is to stick his claws inside the opponents mouth and rip outwards, which usually rips their head in two, and if not, it would extremely wound the opponent. He uses his serrated knife-like teeth to tear off human skin. The minotaur usually uses his teeth for eating dead sacrifices not for combat because his large bull horns get in the way. He does not use his horns in combat because he would have to lean into an extremely awkward position to stab with them. Its horns are mainly for frightening or for show. His think black fur is a sanctuary for poisonous insects or spiders and because the minotaur has poison resistant skin this comes to his advantage in combat. He covers his enemy in poisonous bugs by wildly shaking his fur. The insects soon return readying him for another attack. His fur is also useful for cleaning his teeth and claws after eating. He wears black leather shoes with his sharp toenails sticking out the front of them.
As the minotaur approaches, the sacrifice can't see him, but the minotaur can because of his lemon-yellow eyes absorbing all the possible light coming towards him. He makes his move towards his target, slashing his blood-stained claws towards his victims heart. Suddenly the prey's chest explodes like ref fireworks. The single swipe cuts off all circulation to his body. The he uses his jet-black horns to rip through the sacrifice's muscles. He deploys his razor-sharp teeth into the oppositions ruined muscles, eating his last meal for 9 years. His tanned muscles making small work of the remains. The he and his skirt are ready for the next sacrifice that appears.
His scaly feet stomp around the cruel maze. I can hear the minotaur's mighty tail thumping on the dark, cracked ground. With his razor sharp claw teeth, he tears flesh from a human. His immense knife-like fingernails slice through steel walls so he can spring through them.
There were faint stomping sounds as the minotaur strode through the dungeon using it's pitch-bvlack fur to blend in with the shadows of the dungeon. Using its penetrating yellow eyes to seek prey, the minotaur pounced, seizing its prey with his razor-sharp claws and killing it with his heavy-duty horns. The tail flicked around to show that the minotaur was delighted with himself.
Here are some of recent pieces of writing about the Norwegian Ridgeback (dragon from Harry Potter) who is going after a meal in the ocean. (They eat water-dwelling creatures)
Swooping down from its home in the mountains, the Ridgeback spots its slow young prey swimming unsuspectingly though the ocean. As he approaches, he opens his feet to reveal razor-sharp talons. As he claws into his prey, the whale struggles and the more he does so, the deeper the Ridgeback's claws sink into his skin. The dragon then pulls the whale out of the water and holding his prize close to his chest, he flys swiftly to shore. He then sticks his front claws inside the whale's flesh and tears it open using it as a bowl for the tender insides of the whale.
It Slowly swoops down on to it's prey. The Norwegian Ridgeback hunts its prey very carefully, watching its every move. It plans attacks so it can easily snatch its prey right out of the water. Sometimes its method does not work.
A baby Blue Whale was enjoying its happy life until, unsuspected, a venomous Norwegian Ridgeback rocketed to the surface. It snatched at it twice and on the third attempt he clawed the baby Blue whale and scraped it along the surface with his razor sharp nails. The whale tried and tried to get his freedom but the dragon had a firm, inescapable iron-grip. The whale was heeding his last seconds.
The Norwegian Ridgeback spotted its prey; nothing had ever escaped it. Suddenly it fell out of the air, its blue wings silently gliding toward the lone baby blue whale, who had just had its final meal. The dragon hovered above it for a moment, then it snatched the whale out of the water, flying to the land where the whale would meet its end. The dragon laid down the unconscious whale and proceeded to have its breakfast.
Sleeping in his cave on a rocky mountain with his blue wings curled around its body, sparks came flying out his nostrils. He woke up with the scent of food filling his nostrils. He soared off over the rocky mountain, following the scent of his next meal.
Far away on a rocky mountain in Norway sat a dragon weeping for food to come. He spread out his leathery, dark blue wings, ready to fly. He set off to the sea, soaring in the night sky.
The Norwegian Ridgeback was flying over the beach. Suddenly it spotted a clueless baby whale. The dragon swooped down and snatched it in its bloody jaws. With great skill, it jetted towards the beach and released the whale onto the sand. The blow instantly kills it. The predator begins his feast.
The Norwegian Ridgeback soundlessly swoops down on its unsuspecting prey. Down at Whale Waters, the Ridgeback effortlessly pulls the Killer Whale back to shore and injects fatal poison from his fangs into the whale.
As the whale calmly swam through the ocean, a dark shadow loomed over it. The whale shuddered. Suddenly there was a piercing scream as the creature bit it. The ocean lightened again as the creature moved away, dragging the unfortunate whale behind him.
It paces madly on the shore of Nickelnack Avonsteen Beach. Baring its browny-yellow, swap, fang-like teeth, the Norwegian Ridgeback is ferociuos, but above all, the bravest beast. It corners its colossal prey while whale-watching. The whale scans the enclosed area for an exit.
Whoosh! As he set off from the Arctic, he flapped his icy-blue, leathery wings to Japan to find the next victims. Every time the Norwegian Ridgeback flaps his wings he demilishes a firest. Finally he reached his destination as he crashed onto the bristly floor. He seizes the whale and all other creatures are panic-stricken.
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